Could’ve Would’ve Should’ve

On Werner Hertzhog’s ’The Wild Blue Yonder’

So basically what I am trying to say with my art here at Cabo Verde, Werner has already pointed out brilliantly in his documentary ’The Wild Blue Yonder’. I don’t really know what to do now. It is quite interesting in the terms that I can now look back at a monumental project that only existed in my mind and see what I did wrong, what I should do better. A thing I really need to avoid is the movie taking itself too seriously. I think that it is easier said then done.

 My own project is ridicously amateuristic. I am even tired of the theme that popped into my head when I came here. As if there was not enough people pointing out what is wrong with the western world already. Fuck it, fuck it fuck it fuck it. I guess the lesson learned is that I should down grade my ambitions (nothing new under the sun there) and also the whole ’taking vantage point in the materiality angle instead of ideas’ is a dead end.

I interviewed Uli today. Uli is 65 years old and every day around 10am he pedals his moon car with a trailer to kite beach. Uli does not believe that anything we experience is reality and therefore we are free to just enjoy. He spends the summers in Sicily and the winters in Cape Verde. He is also a very skilled wave-rider . I haven’t looked at the footage yet but I have a hunch that it is going to play a key role in the exhibition. I am thinking about calling it ’Motor Planet’ after a garage here. It is definitely a theme that I am going to let go of when I come back. I am sick and tired of it, and worst part is that I don’t feel (if I succeded really well) that it would do any difference to anyone.

I am also tired of the fact that I have not found a place to set up the exhibition yet. I planned with the thought that I was going to exhibit in the Glass Pavilion. I did not hear from them for two weeks after I send my proposal and then I sent a notification (hvad hedder ’rykker’ på engelsk ?) and got an answer 3 hours later saying that the pavilion is completely booked for the rest of the semester. I could really have done with that message after my first email. I am really frustrated of the general attitude at Rietveld. I get a feeling that the employees just don’t take us seriously – over and over. Anyway – I am going to go through with the exhibition for the doorloop (rundgang) and then I will change theme and start painting again. After I’ve made a couple of kinetic sculptures. I really want to make this toy-size elephant, paint it pink, suspend it in a string from the ceiling and then stick a propeller out from its arse and make it spin in circles really fast. Absurd and ridiculous as it should be. I’ve actually been scared to write it down in a public forum fearing that someone would steal the idea. I decided that it had probably been done before and that no idea is sacred. Just look at Olaffur. I don’t think any of his installations are his own ideas. When I took 10th grade I did it at an animation school. My most sacred learning from there was to understand to Kill Your Darlings. Focusing on one idea is not making for any creative processes. That is not my worry though. I have the same problem now as I had then – I am not incapable of getting ideas – it’s the other way around. I have trouble believing in the potential of my ideas. I should be more of a megalomaniac, I definitely should. 

A really great article on the craftsmen behind the artists.

I am still intrigued by the divide of craftmanship and art, but I have dropped the idea of making art about it. There is a lot of crap sold to tourists here ; bad paintings, wooden sculptures, necklaces etc. Right next to all the artisan stuff is postcards, sun glasses and cheap watches. I think it is mostly senegalese people selling it, and it all seems to come from the same factory - at least the african sculptures. It is interesting how they are selling all this 'africrap' when in reality there is no indigenous population on this island.

I was told that Santa Maria looked completely different just 6 years ago. There are building projects everywhere in the township and it is all made from these 'solid dense concrete blocks' with a frame of fortified concrete and a layer of concrete on top of it all. It makes for a very specific style. There is almost no rain here, and no hurricanes or tropical storms so the buildings are just to keep the wind and thieves out. I want to make a project about that. Half of the township is a work in progress so there are plenty of photo opportunities. Also the building plots are completely bare only with a few brushes around so it is completely barren dry land. And there are a lot of building plots around, everywhere there's bare desert with a sign saying who owns it.

When I tell people about my project here, they all have ideas and it is quite interesting. In all of the ideas there is one thing that goes again: That art is somehow to depict nature in a 'godly' light. I have made some art before where you could definitely argue that there's references back to romantic periods and you could also argue that it is depicting nature in a 'godly light'.
Only thing is : I am not a christian, I would even go as far as saying that I am more towards atheism than anything else. I've been denying to myself that my art works would refer back in art history. The thing is ; They do.
A german guy told me about a cave where the light enters only from a round hole at the top of the cave and produces a single ray of light that illuminates the water in it. My photo of it does not exist yet, and now that there's a description of it , would the photo bring anything more to the story ? I am sad to say that I think not.

The next two days the wind is kinda low, so I should definitely record something and post it. Only reason I write it is that then there's a better chance that I'll upload the result although the recordings are never going to live up to my expectations..

I guess the lesson learned from that is, the key to happiness is downgrading your expectations.

A Sunday at Ponta Preta. On the internet it said the wave height was 3.1 meters, but I don't know, maybe the waves in the back were that high but it was impossible to get a shot at any of the action there. Here you see the worlds best kiter at riding waves strapless. The other guy has been the worlds best a couple of years ago and the 3rd rider is Machu, a really nice guy. They're all locals. Yesterday I was sick with a cold, but I've spent many hours in the bed so I think I am over it now.

On nail guns

With a nail gun you have the possibility to shoot a thousand nails into wood in the same time as it takes to hammer in a few nails. It also feels good. The thing is though, you stop thinking about whether the nail is necessary or not, it becomes this 'just to make sure' thing ( I could not for the love of god find a word). You maybe do not spend a lot more money because the nail people know this fact and has made the nails very cheaply (=badly) so you can just shoot away and not care.

I am interested in just putting two nails in, exactly in the right spot. This is the time of the nail gun. I kind of like the hammer though,
not in a sentimental way, but because Less Is More and because this is the beginning of the era of craftsmanship, the time of the nail gun is coming to an end Dadadaduuhmm.

''The past is gone. I know that.
The future -  isn't here yet, whatever it is going to be..
So,
all there is is this, -  the present.. That's it''
Bill Murray in Broken Flowers (Jim Jarmusch)

Yesterday I received a 2000 Escudos note (about 20€). It had a dead fly imprinted into the paper. I really like that. In the world of money and ATM's theres no room for flies. Or so there is, they just need to be flat to enter the cash machine. An anomaly that does not change anything besides the life of a fly. But in the big picture a life is a life, whether it is that of a fly or a human. At least the fly left a print, although temporary. 'Temporary prints' could be the working title of the exhibition.

Day 5 (yesterday)

I am now officially bored. I did not make it out in time for the morning surf and the wind died out at around 2pm, which was also the time I went out the door.
I do not se boredom as a bad thing, I just wish I had brought my camera with me today on my walk. I walked to Ponta Preta, a famous wave that was not there today, something to do with the weather conditions. Then I walked through the desert back to Santa Maria and came across a big scrapyard. Right now it seems as the project is going to be about all the half-way built things that are around in the township. I think that more then half the buildings are not done yet.

The ocean is really nice. I am sitting and looking at it now. I just fucking love oceans.

Cabo Verde #1 - Köln - selbst-nachsicht

I am sitting at a Starbucks in Cologne just waiting for my flight. Currently there is 6 hours until departure. I got almost all the things on my to-do list done, I am pretty satisfied. Sofia and I moved out yesterday and all of my earthly belongings are stored around friends places - Except for my kite gear, guitar and laptop . I am looking forward to this.

I am reading a book called 'Thinking Through Craft' which has been inspiring. Especially the chapter on 'amateurism' . Did you know that it origins from latin and means 'lover of'? It is interesting how amateur art is frowned upon from the established art scene when the people making it basically do it for no other interest than. . I guess the love of making art. That is a pretty darn good vantage point in my opinion. Anyway, it is often decorative and sofa-pieces and without any edge what so ever and with an emphasis on Craft rather than Ideas and I guess that is why it is so terrible. Also there is a lot written on feminism and why knitting and pottery-painting and all that have such a low status. It is interesting definitely, but I just can not relate to it.
I have a hate-love relationship to the art world and all its premonitions and rules. On one hand I am curious whether if I can fake it , on the other hand I am extremely dissatisfied that it has come to that. Am I really that much of a pleaser that I want to let go on my own opinions just for the sake of other people? Is it for other people or am I just enjoying playing the game? I have no idea.

This text is not really thought through is it? Well, I have started writing now at least, more to come. I need to learn to talk about my own things way better than I do now. I need to start accepting that it is art and not just 'things'. I need to build up a vocabulary in english to when I am presenting my things. Oups, art. I need to figure out what it is about.